I'm not actually pregnant. It's yet to be determined if I'm bipolar and/or depressed but for now, to prevent myself any unnecessary anguish and soul searching, let's just say I'm not those either. But I did go to the doctor's once with stomach pain and within 8 seconds was diagnosed as all three. At that point just pregnancy would have been a dream. I think that's what he was going for. Bring on the terrible news and when you find out it's just acid reflux and not terminal cancer you'll be stoked as shit!
I've had an aversion to the whole blogging thing since it started. Basically it boils down to why should I be so conceited and assume I'm such a unique thinker that people would give a rat's ass what I have to say? But then I realized...I'm pretty awesome so why shouldn't everyone want to read my witty posts and rants? So what I'm trying to say is this is for you friends, stalkers, potential one-night stands and hoarders with your plethora of cats surrounding you. And in the words of one of Bret Michael's whores...."don't threaten me with a good time."
I'll let this first post simmer a bit and see how it feels. By tomorrow morning I might come to my senses and realize I'm just like every other asshole in this world and I really don't have an original thought in my head. Then I'll have to run to the computer and delete this thing like I did with my online dating profile. More on that to come...
See how I did that? Yeah, I know. I'll miss you too.
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